Well, after sending out all of my support letters with thejoyfullittlecupcake.blogspot listed as my blog, I decided to create a new blog to share my adventures in Honduras. This is just so like me, I like to make things as difficult as possible apparently. I really felt like I needed a separate blog to keep my friends and family updated on what I am doing specifically in Honduras. I want to reserve my other blog for my ramblings on life and funny things that I decide to write about.
So here is my first post about my Honduran Adventures and ironically enough, I am typing this in South Bend, Indiana. Which is hundreds of miles from Honduras.
I leave in 16 days. 16. I have been planning this move since I left Honduras last August and now I am this close. I am both excited and terrified. The emotions come in waves. I wanted to share my feelings and my thoughts that I have had as I prepare for this trip. I wanted you to know where I need prayer and how you can be praying for me.
The other day I was driving and it hit me that I am going to be totally dependent on other people. I am moving to a country that I have been in for less than 20 days. I don't speak the language. I don't really know what I am fully getting myself into. I am going to have to relay on others 24/7. That was a really scary thought, and almost as soon as it entered my mind, God was like, "Actually, you are going to be totally dependent on me. And I have never failed you." Right then I was like, "okay Lord, you're right. This is your plan, this is your will. I told you to send me and now you are. But this is all in your hands, I can't do this on my own, you're going to have to hold my hand the whole time. I can't do this." I left it at that. In Deuteronomy 31:6, God says "Be strong and courageous, Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord Your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Again in Hebrews he says it again. This is going to be a verse that I cling to daily. Please pray that I feel Christ's presence in my life, and that I remember that He is walking with me and there is nothing to fear.
I have been experiencing unusual pain and extreme fatigue this week as well which is very unsettling. A majority of it may just be anxiety, but I can't be for sure. My knee pain has been similar to the pain I experience right after surgery. It's been pretty bad. I've been in pain for so long, that part of me is expecting this to be my weakness throughout my life. Which is something I am still trying to accept. Please pray that God would sustain me and would heal the broken and damaged parts of my knees and my ankles. Pray that He would strengthen my body to endure what He has in store for me.
I don't know what I will be teaching yet, but I do know that I will be teaching. Please pray that I am able to lead a classroom full of students and that I am able to be the best teacher I can be.
I don't speak Spanish. Please pray that my mind is open to learning and that I absorb the language and pick up the cultural norms pretty quickly.
Like many times in my life, I ask you to pray that I would make friends quickly, and that I find people who can be like family to me. I don't like to be alone. I will need a strong support system while I am down there.
Lastly, please be praying for my sadness to subside. I am anxious to go, I am excited for the future, but I am also so sad to be leaving home. I am going to miss so many of you. To my lovely small group girls: I am going to miss your beautiful smiles, your energy and your endless supply of laughter. To the other high schoolers: I am going to miss you all. It has been so wonderful to watch you grow this year and I can't wait to see how you serve the Lord in the future. To my fellow leaders: thank you for the fun times, for praying with me and for supporting me in my walk with the Lord. To my church friends: thank you for helping me get this far, I will miss worshiping with you and hugging you on Sundays. To my parents: I will miss you, period. Thank you for raising me to have the courage to serve the Lord. Thank you for instilling love, faith, joy, honesty, grace and compassion in me. I would not be who I am today had it not been for everything you have invested into my life. Thank you for supporting me when I couldn't support myself. And thank you for trusting the Lord with my future and my life. You are both my real O.Gs. To Claire: I am going to miss our random conversation throughout the day. I will miss road trips to IWU. I will miss quoting movies all day erry day. Thank you for believing in me and always pushing me to become better. You're okay I guess. To Joe Rasbaugh, Jordan Stander, and Lauren Fahey: I will miss you three terribly. Thank you for always listening to me when I start to freak out. Thank you for the laughter, the prayer and the advice that you have given to me. You guys are the greatest. To Kara: I am going to miss everything about you basically. You are my truest friend, you are a kindred spirit. Can I leave it at that so I don't cry? Good, because I am going to. To Shelley: I am going to miss you terribly dear friend. Thank you for being my confidant this year. I have loved getting to know you. You will hear from me many times I am sure. To all my friends and family: I will miss you greatly. Thank you for shaping me into the young lady that I am and for supporting my future.
God is good, He is going before me to prepare the way. Like Peter, Jesus is calling me out of the boat, to trust Him and to take a step unto the waters. Here I am. Send me.
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