What I Miss

Today is Independence Day in Honduras, which means no school!! I stayed up late last night, watching Madagascar and enjoying the thought that I didn't have to wake up at 5:30 the next morning. I slept in until 9:30 when the Chinese kid in the house next to me started screaming. I mean, it wasn't the best way to wake up, but I am sure there could be worse ways. I didn't feel like moving though, so I just laid in my bed and let the coolness of the fan blow on me. When I did get out of bed, it was to shower and then I came right back to bed. I watched Netflix and while I was doing that, I was hit with overwhelming sadness. It is really true. I got very sad.

I miss home. I miss it a lot. Thinking about being there makes me want to cry. I know at some point that everyone needs to grow up and go off and experience the world and be their own person and what not. I think that I needed that, but I also think that I am one of those people who is happier living closer to family than wanting to live miles and miles away from home.

I miss a lot of specific things. They are really bizarre.

I miss pulling into church on Monday nights for 717 and walking through the parking lot into church. I miss 717 of course, but for whatever reason, those few minutes of walking into the church is what I miss most.

I miss my car. I miss her curves and all her edges and all her perfect imperfections. I miss the crayon smell that overpowers you when you open the door. Bubbles is such a great car and we have been through so much together. I miss driving in general to. I think perhaps some of my favorite days last fall were the days when I was driving down to Indiana Wesleyan to see Claire. There is this really eerie looking church that is right outside of Warsaw on the way to IWU. I don't know why but I would always get really happy to see that church. And the drive to IWU is beautiful. There are like a million and a half donut shops, you get to drive through Nappannee and there are pretty fall colors the whole drive there. The same came be said for driving up to Michigan to visit my grandparents. I love that drive too. Man, I miss driving so much!

You know when you are really hungry for chicken and noodles and mashed potatoes?! It happens to the best of us, it really does. And when I am hungry for this, I miss Shipshewana. I miss Essenhaus and their delicious peanut butter pie and whoppie pies. And though it semi drives me insane, I wouldn't really mind getting stuck behind a buggy driving from Middlebury into Shipshewana. I would enjoy it today. I can't wait for Amish food in December!

I am surrounded by Hispanic food, and what do you know, I miss Hacienda. I really wanted a wet burrito last night. You know the giant ones that they serve on the hot plates that burn your hands if you touch them accidentally? That's the one I miss. Plus Chips and Ranch.

Sundays are a difficult day for me here, because even though they are my favorite day of the week, I really miss my family on Sundays. My church family too, not just mom, dad and Claire. I love the people at Rivervalley. I love the support that is coming from my church, financially and in prayer. I am so excited for Christmas Eve service this year.

I miss my bed. I love my bed so much. It is the perfect place to spend all day and all night. Especially when Lucy is curled up in my bed with me. That is one of my favorite things in this whole world. I love those moments.

I miss Mishawaka/South Bend on game day. I don't really like football, mostly because I don't understand it totally and also it makes me nervous when they all start tackling each other and all I see in my mind is broken bones and such. All that to say, I love our area on game day, how hype everyone is, how busy it is and then the game starts and it is just quiet. I have missed that this year.

I miss going to Bethel and calling Kara to come walk me in because I don't want to walk in by myself haha! I miss being at a college, and I miss all the crazy shenanigans and hoodrat things we do together. Like, I don't think anyone could understand the level of missing in which I miss Kara. And my other Bethel friends.

I miss Walmart. Like it is open 24 hours, do you know how incredible that is?! I could always count on Walmart, like when I needed hair dye at 9 in the evening and I didn't want to wait until the next morning to get it. Or if i really just wanted a pineapple.  You can go to Walmart at any time and basically find whatever you need.

I miss my clothes. Yes, I have clothes here, but I feel like my personal style is so restricted. And when I wear what I want, it is usually too hot to be comfortable. If I could wear jeans and a black long sleeve shirt all the time, I would be the happiest person in the world. I love that combo.

There are no Old Navy stores here. I can't adequately get my shopping on without an Old Navy to be honest. That store always spoke to me on a personal level. I love boring Old Navy clothes so much!

That is what I miss, and all my friends and my family. I miss home a majority of the time. But the times that I don't miss home while I am here, are some of the greatest moments ever! I wish I could take everything I love about Honduras and move it to Indiana. That would be awesome!

Delusional Thoughts: The Inner Struggle of a Gringa Who Thought She Might Die in a Foreign Country

I want to preface this post by saying a few things. Number 1, had I been in a right frame of mind, I would have never thought that I was actually dying. Number 2, I find with all types of stomach flu-like sickness there are a few moments when you think to yourself, "Yes, this is it. This is what death feels like, I am ready Lord, take me home." And that is regardless of if you are sick in a foreign country, you feel that way at home also. Number 3, I am typing this while I am mostly laying flat on my back which means that there may be a few typos. I find that if I sit up for too long though, I get really dizzy and it makes me sick. Number 4, I knew that Jesus was with me the entire time and I knew He would sustain me, but again when you aren't in the right frame of mind, it is easy to forget truths. Number 5, I love Honduras and yes it is really difficult and yes the last two weeks I have wanted to come home more than I have wanted to stay, but God's not ready for that yet and for whatever reason, He needs me here.

So now that I have set the stage, please sit back and enjoy that inner thoughts and struggles that I felt while I thought I was dying of a terrible disease in Honduras.

It all started on Monday when I came home from school. Monday was a great day! The kids were good, lunch was pretty tasty, I didn't have much to get ready for Tuesday, so I was feeling pretty great. I came home and went to my room and started to watch Gilmore Girls. Around 5 o'clock though, I got a really bad headache. I kind of brushed it aside, I get headaches a lot here, I thought it would go away. But it didn't and I started to feel worse. Around 7, I finally decided I would just go to bed, and I asked Samira to wake me up at 5:30am if I wasn't up the next morning.

I didn't get much sleep, I was tossing and turning and  5am came really quickly. When I opened my eyes, the whole room was spinning and my body felt like it was being held down by hundreds of weights. My head hurt and I could tell that I was running a fever. So I did what every normal 21 year old living in a foreign country would do and I called my parents. Repeatedly, and I prayed that they would answer. My mom did, she talked to me, and asked all the good mom questions that mom school teaches a mother to ask. She said she would pray for me, told me to do what I could, told me she loved me and we hung up. At that point, I decided to stand up, and I did. I slightly stumbled and wobbled out into the living room and said, "Samira I need a doctor." She told me to go and lay down and sleep and she would call me when we could go see the doctor.

We went to the doctor's office, which is also an ER, which is also a private clinic. And the doctor asked me a bunch of questions in Spanish and Samira translated. She then decided to give me an IV, to hydrate me, and maybe get ahead of this sickness. Let me tell you friends, getting an IV in Honduras is VERY different than getting an IV in America. And as I sat and saw a needle in my hand, and literally had blood spilling out and dropping to the floor, I thought to myself "huh, this seems totally safe and not that terrifying at all... Oh no wait, what is actually happening right now" (For those close enough to me I am sure that you could read that thought in my totally sarcastic voice). After they poked me, and got a blood sample they attached the IV. And I laid there and waited for the bag to empty. The doctor said everything looked okay with my blood test, I had a lot of mosquito bites, and she wanted to be sure I didn't contract something from those, She said it was probably just a virus and sent me home, but told me to come back if I had any new symptoms.

So I watched Gilmore Girls all afternoon and prayed that my headache would go away. Amanda and Samira got home from school, and neither of them was feeling 100% so we really thought, yea, this is just a little virus we just need to wait it out. I walked out to refill my water and Samira and one of our coworkers, Emilson, were sitting at the table and they both looked at me and said that I looked terrible. Which is something you don't ever want to hear, but when you hear it and you are sick, you don't care. I had fever blisters on my lips, my hair was everywhere, my cheeks were red with fever, I was a mess. I looked terrible and I felt terribler. I thought that maybe if I showered I would feel better, but that didn't work. At one point, I was laying under 3 covers, in pants, with no AC on and I was still shivering. This is when I was like "Yea, I could be dying right now." I was sick.

I did what I do every time I am sick and I need sleep and I took Nyquil. And usually that knocks me out and it sends me into a nice coma for about 9 hours. No such luck this time, I was tossing and turning and then 2am hit. I didn't think that I could get much worse and that's exactly when I did. The toilet and I became real close while the trashcan and I were also becoming real close. At the same time. (See I am a lady and therefore I don't want to use the actual terms for what was taking place in the wee hours of the morning, so that is why I am saying that both were being used at the same time.) It was during those moments in the bathroom that I was actually wondering when I was going to see the bright light, and wondering what the angels that guard Heaven's gates look like. I was also wondering what I had gotten myself into and questioning why God had called me to Honduras only for me to be slowly killed by my own body. While all this was going on, my fever was getting higher. And there was a gecko on my wall. And normally I would have gotten up and chased the gecko away, but I thought to myself, even if he bites me, I don't think I could get worse.

I was wrong. because it turns out that when you haven't eaten in 24 hours, your stomach is empty and it has nothing to get rid of... except water. So I started losing a lot of water. At some point on Wednesday afternoon, I felt well enough to walk to my scale and weigh myself. In just over 24 hours, I had lost 7 pounds. And my fever started to spike again and Samira said, lets go back to the doctor/ER/Clinic. So we went. And it was terrible. They poked me 5 times looking for a vein, one time was so painful that I was crying like an actual baby. Big tears and big sobs. Then they said I would stay the night and in my mind I was just like, "no, this is not happening. I am not going to stay in a hospital where no one speaks English and I don't speak Spanish all night." But they made me stay. And it was a rough night. I questioned why I had decided to listen to God in the first place, I wondered why He was leaving me here, I became angry with myself for not becoming fluent in Spanish before I came down here. And it got worse because every time a nurse would come in they would tell me that I should try to learn Spanish, which isn't exactly comforting when you feel like you are dying. And I wanted to cry and scream. I wanted to rip the IV out of  my hand and run out of the hospital. I wanted them to know how painful it was to lay in that little bed, with my tall legs hanging off the sides, and I couldn't tell them any of it. And so I laid there and I just kept praying, and I am sure that my prayers were full of angry questions. I didn't want to be there. But I still knew that God was near to me. I just didn't think I could get through that.

And the next day I had to stay in the hospital all day. I missed Children's Day at school. They told me I could go home when I stopped going to the bathroom as much and so I forced my body to stop, At that point, all I wanted was to be in my own bed, away from the hospital that was so unlike what I was used to in the US. I wanted to stretch out, and take an ibuprofen for my pain. That's what I wanted. My friends all came to visit me in the hospital. They prayed over me, they made me laugh, they talked to the nurses for me. It was nice to see all of them.

Then they brought the bill. And dealing with the doctors in the past, everything here has been pretty cheap and I thought this one would be too. But it wasn't. It was really expensive and I didn't have enough money to cover it. I do have insurance, but you have to pay out of pocket and then be reimbursed. As we were looking over the bill, we realized that they had charged us for more than they should have. All the Hondurans thought it was too high and they tried to bring the price down, but that didn't work out too well. And I was supposed to be going home and feeling better, but all the money talk stressed me out and made me feel terrible. It was really hard not to cry. It was really hard to not become angry. I just wanted to be home, my home, in Indiana, and I was ready to ask for a ticket home. Luckily the school stepped in and lent me the money, and we will send everything to the insurance company to be reimbursed.

I am still not 100% sure what they diagnosed me with.

When I got home on Thursday night, I cried a lot. Because here is the truth friends, the truth is that I don't want to be here anymore. Living in  the US is easier. It is comfortable.  I had two weeks back to back with terrible stuff. I knew that Honduras was going to be hard, I knew that it would stretch me and pull me out of my comfort zone. I never expected this though. It is so hard. And I know I posted last week about being a warrior, but there are times when you aren't strong enough to pick up a sword and be one. And I know that you all would say that it isn't my strength, it is Jesus'. And that is true, but sometimes you ask for His strength and it feels like it doesn't come. That is so hard. Its hard to be miles and miles from your home and feel like you are actually dying. Knowing that you aren't, but feeling like you are. It is hard to have to think about lesson plans when you feel like you can't even stand up. It is hard to think about going back to a classroom with 23 kids when you have a headache that won't go away. And I have talked to numerous people about this, and I have cried and said that I want to come home, that I am giving it one more week.

I know that I won't quit. I know that in my head. Even thought I want to leave, I also want to stay. I have come too far to just give up. I am too much of a people pleaser to let down everyone who has supported me. And I know that this is where God wants me, and I can't give up on that. But you have to know, this is the most difficult think I have ever done in my life. And yes, you see all the hard parts because that is what I am going through right now. But there will hopefully be a day when my posts can be about all the good.

And I am not saying that there is only hard parts right now, there have been a lot of good moments here. And I love Honduras and my friends here in a way that I can't explain. I love eating baleadas and riding in the back of pick up trucks, I love walking out of the mall and seeing the glorious mountains standing tall. I love seeing the bats flying around at night. I love to chase the geckos with sticks. I love chicky cookies. I love singing American songs loudly at the mall while our Honduran friends laugh at me. I love hugging my students everyday. I love how cheap professional, expensive hair products are here. There is so much that I love and I am not ready to give up yet.

I need your prayers to keep going. I need to be reminded every minute of everyday why I am here. I need to see that all of this pain that I am going through right now is worth it. I need Jesus to be so real and evident in ways that I haven't seen before. That's what I need!!

And here we are at the end, if you read all of that, I am super impressed. The good news is, I didn't die, I lost seven pounds and I got to see a lot of people who love me in a 24 hour time period! I am still weak and tired, and I know that with every sickness, there is a time of recovery to rebuild and strengthen our bodies. That will all come with time.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me be real and authentic in my writing. Thank you for not being surprised in my moments of trials. Thank you for not trying to fix me or tell me what I am doing wrong. This is a journey and so many of you are along for the ride.

Bendiciones!

Here is what I declare

                I am typing this post tonight feeling more exhausted than I have felt in a very long time. There are so many factors playing into this exhaustion. I told you this blog would be real. I am on a diet, so I can’t sugar coat things for you. Even when you are in the center of God’s will, there is still a battle being waged. There is an army rising up against you, attacking you in the moments when you are most vulnerable. This enemy waits, he schemes and he plans. He knows exactly when to strike. It is not rainbows and butterflies here. It is a war. I am fighting this constant battle. I am experiencing emotions that I rarely feel. I feel angry. I feel insecure. I feel confused. I feel helpless. I feel beaten down. I feel unqualified.

                I wake up every morning and I speak truth over myself. I surrender my day to the Lord, I lay my plans at His feet. I ask Him to remove the ugliness in my life, and to take away the negative emotions I feel. I speak protection over my body, over my physical health. I speak light into the dark areas. I pray over my classroom. I pray over my students. Last, I declare that I am a child of God, chosen to serve Him.

                And I do this, and every day this week, I have come home feeling beat down and defeated. And every day I tell myself, I can’t do this. I call my parents and I cry and I struggle for words to describe my emotions. And I cry out and I ask God where He is. “I am here Lord! I am living in your will. This is what you wanted, I have given up so much to be here, please, can you meet me halfway! I need you.” And every night the Lord gives me a little something to remind me that He is still in control.

                And the enemy works his plans again. He is crafty. And he throws me curve balls every day. I am still learning to fight, and I am defeated easily. And it is ugly. And it feels like I am a failure. And I tell myself that I can’t keep going. I take my eyes off Jesus for a split second. And when I look up, when I lift up my head, He is standing above me, holding out His hands. With His sword drawn, reminding me that He still has this, reminding me that I am not fighting alone.

                So here I am tonight, after a long battle today, writing in the best way that I know how. I realize that it is okay to cry. It is okay to have meltdowns and wonder what I am doing here. That is all okay. It is okay to feel emotions that I don’t want or that I don’t understand. But it isn’t okay that I forget that Jesus is still King. He is still on His thrown, He is still calling the shots in my life. It isn’t okay to forget that.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the… powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” Eph. 6:12. I am not struggling against Honduras. I am not angry at the culture, I am not overwhelmed by sickness. I am fighting this battle against the enemy. And though there is a struggle now, I know how it will end. I know that through Christ. I will be victorious. I will be triumphant. I will look back on this year and I will see that God took a tiny, frightened, exhausted girl and turned her into a warrior. And that is my prayer. My prayer is that I would become a warrior. That I would fight for justice. That I would fight for God’s glory to be seen. And I pray that I will fight against the powers of this dark world and I will be triumphant because God has made me a warrior.

                So tomorrow I am picking up my sword. And I am riding into battle again, remembering that I am a conqueror and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  

                For those of you who are praying for me, here is what you can pray for: hair growth (and yes I am serious. I have lost so much hair since I have been here. It is super discouraging for me), my students (I have a very difficult class and when there is a language barrier in a preschool class, it is even more difficult), SLEEP (and not just sleep, but peaceful, life giving sleep. I am not sleeping well), my well-being (I just need strong emotional and physical health), continued healing in my knees (mostly my alignment and arthritis. The constant, terrible pain is gone, and I am so blessed by that, but there is a lot of healing that needs to take place in my legs. And also my heart), a break from the heat (my AC is broken and with the heat index, it has been around 109 here. It’s really difficult for a girl from Indiana to cope with).
 

                God is good, all the time. There is a plan and purpose for my struggles. This is where God wants me, I just need to be down for whatever He is doing right now. 

The Start Of School

Here is the update I am sure that you have been expecting.

I started school this week, which is a big deal.

But before I get to that, I want to talk about the show Gilmore Girls, and I don't really have a point in talking about Gilmore Girls. When I was in middle/high school, my sister played volleyball and I didn't like to go to her games...seriously middle school volleyball. Anyways, I would watch Gilmore Girls when I was home alone, it was always on ABC Family at like 3:30 and I enjoyed watching the opening sequence with all of the fall colors. Gilmore Girls makes me think of fall. Fall is my favorite season and that is why I have been watching Gilmore Girls this week. I miss fall weather. And I have heard that Indiana is getting cooler. I love fall weather.

But anyways, I started school. I wore a pant suit (which yes is just as hot as it sounds). It went as well as I expected that it might. Because I am a fan of being the most honest writing I am going to be honest with you my readers. It was really difficult. I can teach preschoolers in the US, and it is kind of the same thing...except that it is totally different. It is semi like trying to baptize a cat, which I have never done because why does a cat need baptized, but I just imagine that it would be about the same level of difficulty. I am not saying it was bad, it is just really hard. I don't speak the same language as the students, and I am trying to teach them a new language while I am still teaching them their academics. It was difficult.

But God calls us to do difficult things. He wouldn't have called me here if He knew that I couldn't handle it. Its just the beginning and I am praying that it gets easier. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not here in Honduras for myself. I am here because I am serving the Lord, and in serving Him, I am serving others. In the difficult moments, I probably wouldn't think this, but in the good moments, I realize that this year will help me grow in incredible ways. And it is hard, and I cry a lot, but hopefully this will make me a stronger person. God isn't finished with me yet, this is a building process. I am excited for the outcome, and nervous about the hard work in between now and then.

So all in all, school is school. The kids are cute, I feel way in over my head and that is causing a lot of stress. But I am living in Honduras! Which has been my dream for four years! And that is still so exciting!

I know this post is all over the place, I am exhausted and I'm not wearing my glasses ;)

I will try to write more when I have the time and the correct amount of sleep :)

Bendiciones!

Healing Rain.

Let's start at the very beginning, I hear it is a very good place to start.

For five years, I have been in constant knee pain. It gets a little bit better, then a little bit worse and I have been playing this volleyball game with pain for far too long. We have prayed, we have pleaded, we have asked for and we have declared healing, and still the pain hangs on. It is sharp. At times it is blinding, some days I cannot walk, other days, I feel okay. It's troublesome, it is tiring and it is annoying.

Before I moved here, my mom said, "I believe that God is going to heal you while you are in Honduras." I never really agreed or disagreed with her, I just know that God has a way of working here that I haven't see in the states.

Well, I laid down in my bed last night, and right as I was falling asleep, I felt something in my spirit, I knew that Sunday was the day I was going to be healed. I could just feel it.

I woke up on Sunday and I didn't want to go to church to be honest with you. It isn't because I don't like church, I just thought that I needed a day to spend alone with my Savior, reading and worshiping. But I still felt like something was going to happen. And because I miss singing worship songs in English collectively, I just prayed that one of the worship songs at church would be one that I knew in English.

So I went to church, and we sang Revelation Song, and somehow I knew that we would. And the message was incredible, I took a lot of notes and I got really into it. And during the message, the song Healing Rain kept popping into my head, and I kept reflecting on the words. I knew that it was close, I knew that the healing rain was coming.

Here at the church, they often pray for people at the end. People go forward and the leaders lay hands on them and pray for whatever they need prayer for. Samira leaned over to me and she said, "You need to go up. They are going to pray for healing," So I went up. The pastor was speaking in Spanish, but he looked at me and said "Today you will be healed." And I started crying and as he was laying his hand on my head, I felt all of the sharp, chronic pain that I have felt for years disappear and it was gone. And I was sobbing and I was praising the Lord and thanking Him over and over, it was all I could say, "Thank you Lord." And then I started laughing while still sobbing. I was so full of joy, I was so thankful that the Lord had released me from pain and from suffering. And as I was sobbing, and laughing and thanking God, I felt someone lay their hands on my hips and then my knees and then my ankles and then my feet. And I started sobbing harder and I knew I was healed and I was overjoyed. And then a friend came and laid her hands on my knees and she began to pray over me and she prayed not only for physical healing, but spiritual healing too. And I was just sobbing and thanking Jesus. WOW! I walked back, pain free, it was incredible.

And here I am tonight, I showed you all the video, I have been overwhelmed by the wonderful comments and just the joy that people have. This has been such a long process for me. And I gave up hope a lot. But God never fails, and He is faithful and He can heal.

I am sitting in bed, reflecting on the day. My chronic pain is gone. I have only a little bit of soreness and some achy arthritis, but it is nothing compared to the pain I have felt for years, And even with the soreness, I know that I am 100% completely healed. And I praise God for that.

This is only my first month here... and honestly I can't wait to see where else I go.

Christmas Music

I have taken to listening to Christmas music to think "cool thoughts." Each day it feels like it gets hotter and hotter and each day I feel like I am adjusting to the heat less and less. This week I had air conditioning installed and it fells absolutely incredible! I slept in long pants and a sweatshirt, and it is the little stuff like this that makes me feel more like I am at home. I have a bunch of pictures that I need to hang up, and wall decorations that my friends and family left with me. When it all comes together, I will be so excited.

I miss home, I won't lie to you. I keep seeing all the back to school pictures and I miss the chilly fall mornings. I am missing the expectation of October coming and seeing the leaves change colors.

But here I am loving that I am where God wants me to be. That is what I keep telling myself. I cannot explain to you how I feel being here and I wish that I could. Yes it is hard to be so far from home and loved ones and yes I have had some difficulty adjusting, but for whatever reason at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I just belong here, and that is all I can say.

I was listening to the song Breath of Heaven, which is a Christmas song about Mary. The second verse says "Do you wonder, as you watch my face, if a wiser one, should of had my place" and I really thought about that for a few minutes. I have asked Jesus so many times since I have been down here if He is sure that He meant to send me. And the very next line of that song says, "But I offer, all I am, for the mercy, of your plan, help me be strong, help me be, help me." It was a cool moment for me. Here I am feeling inadequate, and God was gently reminding me, through a Christmas song no less, that this is His plan. And I have surrendered my life and my plans to Him over and over again and asked Him to use me and now He is.

So in conclusion, I will end with how you can be praying for me:
1. My healing- My knees and legs have just been having a terrible time here. It is because of the weather and just the general activity that I am doing. I had so much time to rest them in the US, and here I don't have that same amount of time.

2. My homesick-ness- it is very real.

3. My ability to teach- I want to be the best teacher that I can be and I would ask that you pray that I have wisdom and understanding to grasp being a teacher. I am fortunate in that God has gifted me with an ability to love and care for children. Please pray for myself and the preschool team that we have a great year and that we are able to share Jesus' love with all of our students.

4. My comfort- there are many things here that I am not used to. I knew that this move would obviously be a step out of my comfort zone. I just need prayer that I start to feel more comfortable here.

5. My relationship with Christ- I think that my prayer life has been more active this month than possibly in my entire life. I am so glad  that God has been holding my hand. He has provided wonderful people to help me. He sends me little reminders each day that He is in control and He's got this. I am so thankful for that.

Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement! I wish you all could be here with me!

Rats Bats!

                I hope that you are all ready for an extremely embarrassing story because I have one to share. Please sit back in your seats, pop some popcorn and get comfortable. I am a story teller by nature, and this is going to be a great one.          

                This week, my roommate, Samira, had to go to Tegucigalpa to attend some training for school. Due to the fact that neither she nor I wanted me to stay home alone, I packed my things and went to a friend’s house. I stayed there Monday night, Tuesday and Wednesday.  I had a great time there. I played over a hundred games of Spider Solitaire and watched Pirates of the Caribbean. So it was perfect. Wednesday night, it began to rain. Not a little bit of rain either, it was POURING rain. It was dark and stormy when Samira came to pick me up.

                Before we opened the gate to our house she said, “I have to tell you something, when I stopped by the house there was someone in it.”

 My heart rate increased and a million questions raced through my mind.

Then she continued, “It wasn’t someone as much as it was a something.” She paused for effect. Just like I am doing right now……..

                “I saw a rat!” she said.

                I felt a little bit better after she said that. But my heart was still pounding. I am not a fan of rats. I can handle mice, I can handle bugs, but rats are a different story. I cannot handle rats. When we got home, I slowly opened the door and we looked around for a little bit before deciding that the rat was hiding. I went to bed that night and didn’t think much of it. Though I promise you that heard squeaking.

                The next day we didn’t see the rat. The housekeeper looked around the house for it, we moved boxes and there was no sign of it, so I was okay. If I can’t see it or hear it, what harm can it do, am I right? But as the night came, I began to hear the squeaks again. I could hear them in my room, they were so close, but I still couldn’t see it. So I was okay.

                THEN I HEARD IT! Not just the squeaks! I heard it run into a plastic bag, and then I heard it run into my scale on the floor. I had been so sleepy, I was almost asleep, but knowing that there was a rat in my room woke me right up. My heart was pounding, and I got really hot. Every little sound made me sit up in bed. And that is when I knew that I wasn’t going to sleep. Don’t ask me why I couldn’t sleep knowing there was a rat in my room, I knew in my head that it couldn’t get me. But that didn’t change the fact that I was freaking out.

                I have seen The Great Mouse Detective twice in my life. That movie is terrifying. And there is a rat in that movie called O’ Ratigan. He is a despicable character who turns into a deranged rat at the end and begins to chase the main character on a clock tower. That crazed rat image is forever burned into my mind because it was terrifying. I have also seen Lady and the Tramp. Do you know that happens in Lady and the Tramp?! A red eyed rat breaks into the baby’s room and climbs the baby’s crib and it about to chomp on the baby when Lady runs in and rescues it. And you know what else? I have read about Bubonic Plague. I know that was the rats fault.

                So as I am laying there I realize that I am basically living out a Disney movie, only not the ones where the princess gets kissed by the prince, but the ones where a deranged rat gives children nightmares. I start to think, “Why did God send me here, to a place with rats? He should have sent Bear Grylls. Or a cat” and I am laughing in my head because it’s only a rat. Then I decided to put my head phones in and turn on some music so that I just can’t hear it scurrying around my room. I laid in a position so that I couldn’t see the floor beneath me and I turned on my instrumental music. It was about 1:30 am at this point.

                I was starting to fall asleep, when the song changed to the instrumental version of “Don’t Stop Believing” came on. It woke me up. And I changed the song. Then I went through that process about four times. The last time I remember checking the clock, it was 2:45 am. And I decided that if he hadn’t attacked me by then, he probably wasn’t going to. And though I didn’t move, I think I finally fell asleep.

                I woke up the next day at 5:30. I texted Samira and asked her to open my door because I was still too scared to move. She came in and the housekeeper looked around my room with a broom but there was no sign of the rat. All we found was a gecko, and I am not afraid of geckos. They are harmless and they eat mosquitos. The gecko ran up the wall. I got ready and went to school.

                School was awesome! I love the preschool teachers that I will be working with. I think we all connected really well. And while we were at school, the housekeeper was going to look around in my room to see if she could find the rat and where he was hiding.

                She didn’t. I came home and it got dark again and I started to hear it squeaking. Samira and Welsie, the housekeeper came into my room with the broom to find it. I told them it was in the closet and I could hear it squeaking. Samira and I left, just in case it came out. Welsie is brave and she is not afraid of them. While she continued to look, Samira and I sat down in the living room. I heard the squeaking again.

                “That’s it Samira, that is the squeaking I hear all the time!” I told her.

She listened and then she started to laugh.

                “That’s not a rat Char,” she said, “That is the sound that geckos make!”

                “Wait geckos make sounds?” I said again, surprised!

                I had no idea that geckos made sounds! Let alone squeaking sounds! And seriously after all of the documentaries I have watched and all of the nature shows I have seen and the fact that my dad can make like every single animal sound, and I still didn’t know that geckos made a sound. So we got a good laugh about it. It proved how much of a crazy gringa I actually am, so embarrassing!  And I got to share the story of how the rat in my bedroom was actually a gecko!

                That is where the story should have ended, a happy ending…

                But as I was typing this, guess what decided to grace me with its presence… that’s right my friends, the rat.  I just saw the beast run out from behind my closet, sniff and then run back in. I didn’t even have time to scream. Instead I started to whistle, just so he would know that I mean business. This is my land!  I got up out of bed and ran into Samira’s room and yelled,

                “HA! I am not crazy! I am so happy! …..Also, there is a rat in my room.”

                This time it was more than the squeaks, I had actual proof (Which I think there is a lesson about faith that I can work in here. Faith is being certain of what we do not see. I was certain there was a rat. And Now I have seen it). And of course when Welsie checked, she couldn’t find it. But he is in there, I hear the actual rat squeaks (which sound NOTHING like a gecko) and I hear him digging around. So here is where the story ends for now, as we are going to the store to buy a rat trap and some cheese. I will not be sad to see Templeton go (That is what I named him as my name is Charlotte and it only seemed fitting). Had he been more willing to clean my room, or make me a dress or something, I could have probably kept him. But this is not a fairytale, this is indeed a nightmare…  

                Epilogue: We caught the rat in my room and we caught a bonus rat in the kitchen. They were actually really tiny and also adorable. And because the last house had rats, we moved to a new one yesterday (no I am just kidding we were planning to move before). So now I am a home that is rat free, and also there is a Chinese food restaurant outside me window…